What we communicate matters

What we communicate matters

September 19, 2023

We have a phrase in our family. “Lead with Sorry”.

It means that before you start explaining why you did X or Y you should start with acknowledging the feelings of others and say a meaningful sorry.

Sadly it feels that all too often we fail to recognise our mistakes and communicate arrogance rather than empathy for others.

The Decline in Owning Up: The Lost Art of Acknowledging Fault in Communication

In an era dominated by digital platforms, immediate feedback, and the thirst for social validation, the way we communicate has evolved considerably. Yet, amid these advancements, there’s an unsettling trend emerging: people are less inclined to admit fault in their communication with others. The importance of taking responsibility when we misspeak, misconstrue, or misstep in our interactions is waning, and this shift poses potential threats to the fabric of our social relations.

Why is Acknowledging Fault Important?

Admitting fault is a sign of maturity and self-awareness. By doing so, we acknowledge our imperfections, displaying humility and a willingness to grow. Recognising when we’re in the wrong helps to resolve conflicts, build trust, and foster genuine relationships. More than that, it signals that we value the feelings and perspectives of those we communicate with, elevating mutual respect.

Factors Contributing to the Decline

  1. Digital Communication: The age of the internet and social media has given people the freedom to communicate behind screens. The absence of face-to-face interaction sometimes lessens the immediate consequences of our words. This digital veil can embolden individuals to remain steadfast in their positions, even when they’re at fault.
  2. Transient Conversations: Features like disappearing messages on platforms like Snapchat and Instagram create a transient nature of communication. If there’s no lasting record, people might feel there’s less need to acknowledge a mistake.
  3. Fear of Backlash: In the current cancel culture climate, individuals fear that any admission of fault can lead to disproportionate backlash. Instead of conceding a point or acknowledging an error, many find it safer to double down or avoid the topic altogether.
  4. Validation Seeking: The desire for likes, retweets, and shares can sometimes outweigh the importance of genuine conversation. When the aim is to seek validation rather than meaningful discourse, admitting fault becomes secondary.

Consequences of the Shift

The reluctance to own up to mistakes in communication can lead to:

  • Erosion of trust in personal and professional relationships.
  • A decrease in productive debates and discussions, as they become more about ‘winning’ rather than understanding.
  • A rise in misunderstandings and prolonged conflicts.
  • Reduction in personal growth and the opportunity to learn from one’s mistakes.

Reclaiming Responsibility in Communication

To counteract this trend, we can:

  1. Practice Active Listening: This involves truly focusing on the speaker, understanding the message, and providing feedback. It can lead to better understanding and reduce miscommunication.
  2. Promote Constructive Feedback: Encourage environments, both online and offline, where individuals can give and receive feedback without fear of retribution.
  3. Educate and Reflect: Through workshops, seminars, or even simple reflection exercises, individuals can become more aware of their communication habits and areas of improvement.
  4. Lead by Example: Every one of us can set a precedent by admitting our faults when we falter in communication. This simple act can inspire others to do the same.

In conclusion, while various societal and technological factors might be contributing to the decline in acknowledging faults in communication, it’s essential to realize the long-term implications of this trend. To foster genuine, meaningful relationships and ensure productive dialogues, we need to revive the lost art of admitting when we’re wrong. After all, in our imperfections lies our shared humanity.

If we can be of any assistance with any aspect of managing others please call us on 01527 909436.

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