Be careful with empathy : A word of warning to managers in Early Years

We often talk about how many managers and owners in Early Years are heart led. When we say this it’s not a criticism, its merely and observation. We feel for you. You see when we lead with empathy it can affect the ease in which we make decisions involving people.

This is particularly true when these are difficult decisions to make. Too much empathy can have a ‘disabling’ rather than ‘enabling’ effect. An empathetic manager understands what the impact of our words will be and therefore deters themselves from having a conversation. It can lead to procrastination paralysis.

How does this manifest in our Day Nurseries and Pre-schools?

Let’s take a situation where you have hired a new team member and its not going as you had hoped.

Empathetic managers recognise that their feedback will be difficult to hear by the new starter who feels like they have nothing to learn and that has been hired to deliver and deliver now, the new starter who is ‘missing the mark’, the new starter who hasn’t got the experience they suggested at interview.

So what happens? Well the empathetic manager then decides to say nothing not wanting to be seen as reactive and impulsive, despite the impact this person’s behaviours are having on the team.

What we see quite frequently is where too much empathy leads to managers and owners struggling to have conversations they need to have because they know in advance that the conversation will be hard for the employee to receive.

They literally talk themselves out of taking action. It builds up and builds up and one day they explode.

So what can we do differently?

Now I am not saying to lack empathy. Just be aware of it. I prefer to lead with compassion. We care about our people, so much so that we will have the conversations with them that need to be had. Even if its hard.

We have to be compassionate enough to recognise feelings, including our own. Is it in anyone’s interest to leave conduct issues unchecked? How will the setting be enhanced if we do nothing? If not now, when? What does our procrastination mean for our capability to deliver world class early years education?

Compassion doesn’t stop you taking action, it means you take the right action, with the right people at the right time.

Respond not react.

If you need any assistance with any aspect of managing in your Day Nursery, Pre-school or Club, please give us a call on 01527 909436.